The Improbot app for Android is now available -- Improbot on Google Play.
Random Dialogue (x 500)
You could never want me.
My life is cursed.
I'll sit on it.
I love spring in Canada.
When I was little, I wanted to be a carpenter.
Don't upset your mother, not now.
It's not yours.
You are the oddest person I have ever met.
She couldn't have left at a worse time.
I could never hate you.
You should find your father.
You're insignificant.
You burned it on purpose.
I want you to stop following me.
No one can ever know that I like the Chicken Dance.
The first thing to consider is the consequences.
I just want an apple. What's wrong with that?
I want you to inspire me.
Be safe!
Give me one good reason why I should wear a jumper.
I want that hamster out of my house!
When the party starts, put on your clothes.
You're under arrest!
I guess you have seen the stories about my aunt?
We are resentful.
We need to make out.
Go and live with your sister, then! See if I care.
We're ghosts.
Leave it until morning.
What will you do, now that you've found God?
We're going to need a bank robber.
You're going to need a lot of wood.
If you're sure, we'll get started.
I feel clear-headed.
Take the piano and die.
You lost it.
I heard a noise coming from the waiting room.
Good luck!
I can offer you a sandwich.
Hey, watch me move.
I have the need, the need for speed.
This is a day to remember
No one can ever know why I'm leaving.
Someone's watching us.
Why do you tease me, so much?
This is the worst time to be alone.
Get ready to dance.
Running for office is like turning on a light-switch...
Failure is like a lake...
I never listened.
You are my everything.
Show me the skateboard.
You are a handsome devil.
Okay. Just stay calm and look straight ahead.
I see you smiling.
I can't find my burger anywhere.
It's time to go.
I'm the greatest soldier who ever lived.
If you don't want it, throw it away.
You are not my mother.
Please, don't move.
Can I make chilli?
When I was little, I wanted to be a dwarf.
Put it here.
Who left a hot dog in the cloakroom?
I'm lucky.
It's giving me an error message.
I want you to join me on my trip to India.
Don't ask any questions.
Ha-cha-cha.
I'll listen.
I know math.
You will always want me.
You devil!
He was unconscious when I found him.
You never call me.
I'm going to need a screwdriver.
This looks great.
I'm trying to understand.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a skirt.
All's fair in love and war.
How dare you smile at me!
You broke the vase on purpose.
We're going to need a court jester.
Patience is a virtue
We should be as quiet as a mouse.
My love, it's so juicy.
I heard weeping coming from the barn.
You're never going to get away with this!
Your face has turned red.
No one can ever know that I like you
You can't have it.
Don't be scared. I just need you to hold your breath
I bet you know why I'm going.
Did you enjoy yourself last night?
I can offer you a good price.
Sorry, is all that I can say.
You are the best person I have ever met.
Go and live with your mother, then! See if I care.
I'm going to need a lot of nails.
I am going to the party.
Be careful!
Victory is like a camera...
This room is unstable.
I want you to stop questioning me.
Are you crazy? We're not 'lucky'!
I can offer you a cider.
It wasn't your fault that the label came off.
Don't upset your grandfather, not now.
If you're hungry, we'll get started.
I have the will.
I am infuriated.
Someone's locked the door.
It's your fault that the dog died.
I volunteer to go!
No one can ever know that I can dance.
I love summer in France.
It's time to go to bed.
It's not open.
I'm a god.
How dare you look at me!
Alright, who left a dog in the lounge room?
I have faith.
Can I make a treehouse?
When the curtain goes up, hide.
You said you didn't see your mother at all yesterday.
Discretion is the better part of valour.
We're crazy.
I'll open it.
If you don't want it, can I have it?
I see you every day.
I have to tell you about Saturday.
Show me the wrench.
This is a stick up.
The first thing to consider is who's paying.
Leave it alone.
She was unconscious when I found her.
Open it here.
You know it.
I feel thankful.
Falling in love is like making a salad...
We're going to need a chief of police.
Don't fool around.
I'm going to need a lot of friends.
You never listen.
I can offer you a chance to redeem yourself.
Take the drink and die.
You could never love me.
I am going to Thanksgiving.
Be yourself!
What will you do, now that you've got your licence?
Open the curtains.
It's giving me grief.
Sound the alarm!
I'm trying to save you.
I have the card.
I love winter in England.
I want that chicken out of my house!
When I was little, I wanted to be a navigator.
I just want a croissant. What's wrong with that?
I want you to be solitary.
I could never love you.
It's almost over
I knew you wouldn't be able to make up your mind.
Get ready to run.
It was my fault that you slipped in the driveway.
Find some proof that she deceived you.
This is the perfect time to be afraid.
Did you enjoy yourself at work?
I can offer you a tea.
Take this for luck.
I bet you know why I'm tired.
Please, don't drink that.
I know where you were.
Are you pulling my leg? We're not friends!
Boop-Oop-a-Doop.
Little strokes fell great oaks.
Can I make magic?
Your nose has turned purple.
Give it here.
It's not easy.
I have to tell you about Thursday.
I am outspoken.
Sweetheart, it's dead.
I see you came prepared.
You should ask your mother.
You are so nice to me.
The first thing to consider is how to get away with it.
I want you to read to me.
I want you to stop believing in me.
Leave it to the professionals.
I want you to join me on my trip to Germany.
Sorry, I have to take this.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to stop
I have powers.
What will you do, now that you've come home?
It's your fault that we ran out of milk.
I love fall in Australia.
You are an artist.
A girl needs her father.
I guess you have read the stories about my brother?
Take the piano and go.
This room is haunted.
We're going to need a guard.
Good grief!
We need to play.
I feel deceitful.
Why do you love me, so much?
I'm the greatest record producer who ever lived.
This is the right time to be alone.
Go and live with your uncle, then! See if I care.
We're alone in the universe.
Find some proof that they tricked you.
I'll keep guard.
I heard a voice coming from the cell.
I've reported it to the press.
Who left an umbrella in the laundry?
Take this and pray.
I never could make up my mind.
When the lights go out, start crying.
Please, look at me.
I just want a wrench. What's wrong with that?
I am going to Christmas.
We should quit.
If you don't want it, put it back.
I want that shark out of my house!
No one can ever know that I am alive.
Delivery!
You're going to need a saw.
You're going down!
You should listen to your mother.
Don't just stand there.
Am I allowed to go, or not?
You will always love me.
Stop, in the name of all things holy.
I have the knife.
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind horse.
I knew you could turn things around.
Drop it here.
No one can ever know the truth.
I want you to stop loving me.
Are you kidding me? We're not 'lucky'!
I can offer you a Schnapps.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to go to sleep
You said you didn't see your father at all yesterday.
My life means nothing.
Show me the teddy bear.
No one suspects a thing
I hate you.
I know who you are.
Dying is like eating a sandwich...
We need to close it.
I need to tell you about Wednesday.
Love is like a mountain...
This is a fine mess
I want you to hold me.
I guess you have heard the stories about my brother?
Sweetheart, it's delicious.
You want it.
Hey, watch me dance.
No one can ever know that you can dance.
Eating is all I can manage now.
I bet you know why I'm broke.
Who left a fox in the kitchen?
I can't find my chardonnay anywhere.
You should ask your father.
I'm going to need a hammer.
You're going to need a student.
Your cheeks have turned white.
You are not my son.
I've reported it to Interpol.
I want that ant out of my house!
Fears are like salmon swimming upstream...
Please, stop laughing.
I love spring in England.
I should quit.
I'm cursed.
I feel healthy.
I just want a bike. What's wrong with that?
A girl needs her friends.
I see you let yourself in.
I have needs.
No one can ever know that I was here.
We're going to need a lot of nails.
You are my reason for living.
You are the most unfathomable person I have ever met.
I can offer you a burger.
We're the same person.
You could never need me.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a dress.
You monster!
Throw me the kite.
You are witty.
Did you get lucky while I was away?
I want you to stop tricking me.
I have the gun.
This is the perfect time to be amused.
It has to work
She couldn't have arrived at a worse time.
Open the window.
You said you didn't see your wife at all that day.
You found it.
I guess you have seen the stories about my mother?
This room is bugged.
Why do you hate me, so much?
Let's watch the game
Give me one good reason why I should wear swimmers.
This looks familiar.
When I was little, I wanted to be a dentist.
You're a god.
Get ready to die.
Good night!
Can I make contact?
You never say what you're thinking.
You are so good to me.
Your tongue has turned green.
When the lights go out, remain calm.
You are a liar.
I love winter in Hong Kong.
How dare you laugh at me!
It's time to rip off the bandaid.
I bet you know why I'm here.
I volunteer as tribute!
Go and live with your brother, then! See if I care.
I want that dog out of my life!
I can offer you a job.
You're crazy.
I want you to be erratic.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to come with me
Okay. Just follow my lead.
We're going to need a spatula.
You are not my conscience.
He couldn't have arrived at a worse time.
We're going to need a lot of leaves.
I have the letter.
I could never need you.
Knitting is one of the great pleasures in life.
You angel!
You're coming with me!
I want you to stop tickling me.
It wasn't my fault that the movie sucked.
We need to go.
I can offer you a chardonnay.
I never loved you.
We're going to need an ornithologist.
Throw me the skateboard.
Success is like a beautiful song...
I'm a ghost.
When I was little, I wanted to be a baker.
Give me one good reason why I should wear gloves.
I just want a Guinness. What's wrong with that?
Someone's listening.
I'm trying to see the funny side.
I knew you could survive.
You are so kind to me.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a tie.
Open your heart.
My life is a mystery.
You crashed the car on purpose.
Can I make friends?
Your ears have turned spotted.
No one can ever know that I like to sing
I need to tell you about the the North Pole.
You are popular.
You are my only hope.
Who left a Gatorade in the control room?
It's your fault that the cat died.
When the bell rings, hide.
I know the future.
I'm weird.
No one can ever know that you survived.
Okay. Just do what I do.
I need to tell you about Thanksgiving.
Children and fools tell the truth.
I can't find my saw anywhere.
It's time to brush your teeth.
I'm going to need a spoon.
This looks bad.
You should write to your mother.
I love summer in Brazil.
I feel pathetic.
A girl needs her mother.
Show me the fishcake.
This is the only thing that's made the last two minutes possible.
You said you didn't see your brother at all this week.
She couldn't have died at a worse time.
We should vote.
It's not in.
When I was little, I wanted to be a gladiator.
I want you to stop lying to me.
Don't upset your sister, not now.
This room is shrinking.
You're going to need a barber.
Don't be scared. I just need you to close your eyes.
I have money.
I guess you have seen the stories about my brother?
I just want a bagel. What's wrong with that?
Did you drink 8 glasses of water just now?
Give me one good reason why I should wear a belt.
We've only got one option.
You are glad.
You are not my type.
You are the most interesting person I have ever met.
What will you do, now that you've found a job?
When the bell rings, start crying.
Let's go
You're a ghost.
Having a child is like eating toast...
Okay, who left a doll in the guest room?
I heard laughter coming from the laundry.
I know more than you realise.
I need you.
Get ready for this.
You are so mean to me.
You never smile.
I never wanted this.
You should start a business.
Am I coming with you, or not?
I'm the worst politician who ever lived.
Are you crazy? We're not 'fine'!
We're going to need a sleuth.
I love spring in Ireland.
Can I make a show?
Show me the ball.
Please, make yourself comfortable.
Be better!
I'll get it.
You said you didn't see your sister at all this week.
I can offer you a milkshake.
Leave it here.
I want you to document my trip to China.
You are hostile.
This is the only thing that's made the last four years possible.
I can't find my punch anywhere.
You should call your mother.
You are an idiot.
Someone's in here.
A boy needs his grandfather.
I want you to be pugnacious.
We need to help each other.
Find some proof that she tricked you.
Eating is not as easy as it looks.
Did you get lucky just now?
I want you to stop smelling me.
What will you do, now that you've eaten?
It's your fault that Grandma fell down the well.
Hey, watch me leave.
I am going to the funeral.
You never stop to think.
I guess you have read the stories about my father?
Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.
We've only got one bullet.
I want that cheetah out of my room!
No one can ever know that I survived.
I could never despise you.
I'm the worst gladiator who ever lived.
I want you to betray me.
We're going to need an athlete.
You said you didn't see your husband at all this week.
I've reported it to the President.
I heard a voice coming from the basement.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to wait
Your tongue has turned grey.
Your eyes have turned yellow.
This is the only thing that's made the last two weeks possible.
Are you pulling my leg? We're not invincible!
Dreams are like salmon swimming upstream...
I have to tell you about Monday.
We need to open it.
You made me cry on purpose.
Open sesame.
We're going to need a lot of friends.
This looks edible.
Plug it in here.
Find some proof that she betrayed you.
I have the poem.
It's time to pack your bags.
It's not heavy.
I can offer you a lifetime of happiness.
It's now or never
Okay, who left a celery stick in the attic?
You're special.
Please, come in.
I want you to cancel my trip to Germany.
It's your fault that the label came off.
The first thing to consider is the cost.
I never wanted to die.
I see you have done this before.
Hi De Hi De Hi De Hi.
I just want a slice of pizza. What's wrong with that?
I want you to be delighted.
What will you do, now that you've won the lottery?
Stop, in the name of the law.
I want to tell you about the ghost.
I can't find my beer anywhere.
You should make peace with your mother.
Show me the spoon.
It was my fault that the movie sucked.
When I was little, I wanted to be a werewolf.
I feel certain.
Similes
Comparison of two things, with an ellipsis. Complete the simile by explaining how the two things are alike.
5102050100500More coming soon! Make suggestions on the Improbot Facebook page.