The Improbot app for Android is now available -- Improbot on Google Play.
Random Dialogue (x 500)
I have lost the will to live.
Okay. Just stay calm and look straight ahead.
You are so mean to me.
Don't get too close.
I'm going to need a cartoonist.
We're gods.
You burned it on purpose.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a suit.
A boy needs his mother.
I want you to stop loving me.
I knew you wouldn't be able to make up your mind.
He couldn't have died at a worse time.
Please, don't move.
You devil!
You are the most unfathomable person I have ever met.
Open the curtains.
If you're sure, we'll get started.
What will you do, now that you've found your passion?
Don't be afraid. I just need you to listen
I've reported it to the press.
Open it here.
We need to help each other.
Take the piano and leave.
Find some proof that he lied to you.
It's your fault that we ran out of chocolate.
I'm a ghost.
Don't upset your father, not now.
I want that goat out of my car!
I want you to inspire me.
No one can ever know that I like to sing
Laughing is good for the soul.
Life is like a party...
Did you eat just now?
You are a twit.
Are you kidding me? We're not alone!
We're going to need a knife.
Show me the muffin.
Ha-cha-cha.
You are my sunshine.
I can offer you a martini.
I want you to be self-denying.
The first thing to consider is the consequences.
This is a stick up.
Sound the alarm!
I can offer you a job.
Am I under arrest, or not?
This is the worst time to be hysterical.
Hey, watch me leave.
Can I make connections?
This room is haunted.
Your ears have turned red.
We've only got one life.
I should buy a lottery ticket.
I can't find my saw anywhere.
You are not my daughter.
Be yourself!
I'm special.
I feel weird.
I am going to the party.
I'm the greatest engineer on this planet
I'll sit on it.
I've reported it to Interpol.
I'm going to need a beautician.
I know what to do.
Darling, it's so expensive.
Your hopes are like chocolate...
Sorry, is all that I can say.
No one can ever know that I was here.
We're going to need a lot of paint.
You are courteous.
You made me cry on purpose.
I want you to stop tickling me.
I see you came prepared.
My life is a mystery.
It was your fault that the play sucked.
You're never going to get away with this!
You reap what you sow.
I heard a howl coming from the sauna.
Throw it here.
Go and live with your mother, then! See if I care.
Get ready for this.
I guess you have read the stories about my brother?
When I was little, I wanted to be a griffin.
I have a secret.
What will you do, now that you've completed the mission?
If you're done, we'll get started.
I will always love you.
Are you nuts? We're not ready!
If you don't want it, can I have it?
I can offer you a merlot.
Just sitting is good for the soul.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to close your eyes.
Leave it here.
You never stop to think.
It's time to make lunch.
Delivery!
Good morning!
I want you to marry me.
It has to work
We need to open it.
Okay. Just do what I do.
How dare you smile at me!
No one can ever know that I like skipping
Be safe!
I want you to cancel my trip to China.
Don't just stand there.
I feel foolish.
You can have it.
We should quit.
Find some proof that she betrayed you.
You are so nice to me.
I'll open it.
You are my inspiration.
You are an inspiration.
You said you didn't see your husband at all yesterday.
I never killed anyone.
Don't upset your brother, not now.
I have to tell you about the hot dog.
No one can ever know that I survived.
Please, stay where you are.
I heard a sound coming from the garage.
You're coming with me!
You're no good.
This is a day to remember
When the party starts, make a run for it.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a raincoat.
We're ghosts.
I volunteer myself!
I want that chipmunk out of my life!
Why do you love me, so much?
My life is over.
You should listen to your father.
This looks wrong.
Sorry, I can't do this any more.
I can't find my wrench anywhere.
Hey, watch me move.
I bet you know why I'm happy.
It was my fault that Grandma fell down the hole.
Today is the day
Take the money and die.
I want you to cook for me.
I have money.
I just want an ukulele. What's wrong with that?
It's your fault that we ran out of eggs.
I will always want you.
Good luck!
Becoming rich is like brushing your hair...
Can I make love?
Cooking is all I can manage now.
You're a god.
Let's go
Open your heart.
He was unconscious when I found him.
Give me one good reason why I should wear pajamas.
Did you fart this morning?
Are you pulling my leg? We're not together!
I want you to be predictable.
This is the perfect time to be afraid.
I knew you could open it.
You're going to need a can opener.
It's time to pack your bags.
I should go to the police.
I have to tell you about Easter.
I'm trying to help.
This room is shrinking.
She couldn't have died at a worse time.
Get ready to dance.
I want you to stop looking at me.
I can offer you a lifetime of happiness.
I'll help.
You know it.
I can offer you a kebab.
Whoop-whoop.
Hand me the saw.
I've reported it to the President.
You're weird.
You're under arrest!
Leave it to the professionals.
When I was little, I wanted to be a satyr.
When the door opens, put on your clothes.
You never listen.
I never listened.
I'm going to need a nurse.
I see you know what to do.
Go and live with your sister, then! See if I care.
It's not mine.
No one can ever know that I like the Chicken Dance.
I am going to the wedding.
Stop, in the name of all things holy.
What will you do, now that you've eaten?
Your face has turned purple.
You should find your father.
I want to tell you about the bathroom.
This is the only thing that's made the last four days bearable
I'm the worst bank robber on this planet
I love winter in Brazil.
I guess you have seen the stories about my sister?
We're the same person.
Time flies.
Getting married is like opening a letter...
I bet you know why I'm tired.
Don't upset your grandfather, not now.
A boy needs a job.
I heard a howl coming from the dining room.
I have 20-20 vision.
I want you to look at me.
You are the most mysterious person I have ever met.
Why do you hate me, so much?
Don't be scared. I just need you to close your eyes.
Your cheeks have turned white.
Don't take 'no' for an answer.
My life means nothing.
Good grief!
You are so good to me.
You could never need me.
If you don't want it, put it back.
Let's watch TV!
You are my only hope.
Okay. Just follow my lead.
I can't find my slice of pizza anywhere.
I want you to be grim.
I know the future.
This is the right time to be afraid.
No one can ever know that you survived.
You won't find it.
I have the gun.
I'm going to need a spoon.
No one can ever know how we did it.
I volunteer to go!
I knew you wouldn't be able to survive.
I want you to stop lying to me.
I want you to document my trip to China.
I'm going to need a lot of help.
I'm crazy.
We're going to need a messenger.
You monster!
I am going to the grand opening.
Throw me the carrot.
You are not my mother.
Just breathe
It was my fault that the crops died.
Can I make it work?
It's your fault that we ran out of milk.
The first thing to consider is who's paying.
Laughing is all I can manage now.
Are you crazy? We're not together!
You said you didn't see your accountant at all that day.
My life is cursed.
Don't be scared. I just need you to wait
Running for office is like mowing the lawn...
I'll watch.
I want you to clean up after me.
It's not tight enough.
How dare you look down your nose at me!
When the party starts, remain calm.
Hey, watch me dance.
I never felt so alone.
I guess you have heard the stories about my uncle?
I heard a sound coming from the pantry.
Your face has turned pink.
I see you are thinking.
You should be as quiet as a mouse.
You're going to pay!
Get ready, or get out.
I feel certain.
You could never want me.
Give me one good reason why I should wear slippers.
You crashed the car on purpose.
This is a fine mess
Take this with you.
We need to make out.
Am I allowed to go, or not?
I'm trying to open it.
I can offer you a soda.
Bread always falls buttered side down.
I want you to document my trip to France.
You angel!
Please, look at me.
I need you.
Take the money and leave.
It's your fault that the boat floated away.
Darling, it's dead.
I know more than you realise.
I want you to stop tricking me.
She was unconscious when I found her.
Who left an ukulele in the garage?
You are not my type.
A boy needs his space.
Throw me the umbrella.
You should ask for more money.
I guess you have seen the stories about my brother?
Drop it here.
Are you pulling my leg? We're not 'fine'!
We are sedentary.
Reading is all I can manage now.
This looks odd.
Let's watch the game
It wasn't your fault that the bus was late.
I love autumn in Ireland.
I knew you wouldn't be able to see it through.
I have the time.
You are the most interesting person I have ever met.
You broke it.
Stop, in the name of love.
I can offer you a good price.
Your nose has turned grey.
You said you didn't see your doctor at all this week.
I am going to Easter.
It's time to go to bed.
This is the worst time to be happy.
You're a ghost.
It's not alive.
I want that puppy out of my room!
I feel timid.
Hey, watch me smile.
I want you to read to me.
How dare you laugh at me!
I can offer you a lemonade.
Can I make out?
We're going to need a lot of buttons.
You should make peace with your father.
I want you to cancel my trip to Japan.
I'm the best cartoonist who ever lived.
Dare to dream
If you're ready, we'll get started.
Show me the doll.
Getting married is like tidying your room...
This is a fine ship
Who left a burger in the armory?
Be careful!
Did you get lucky at work?
We're going to need a welder.
You're lucky.
I just want a shovel. What's wrong with that?
It was my fault that the lights went out.
I could never need you.
I knew you wouldn't be able to fix it.
I love summer in Brazil.
Get ready to laugh.
Sweetheart, it's delicious.
Let's drink
Take this and pray.
Someone's coming this way.
Leave it outside.
Give me one good reason why I should wear overalls.
Don't be scared. I just need you to stop
I heard a sound coming from the attic.
I guess you have heard the stories about my father?
I want you to stop me.
I can offer you a chance to redeem yourself.
I'll get it.
Your tongue has turned green.
Stop, in the name of the law.
I have to tell you about the sandwich.
I'm the only gravedigger on this planet
It's your fault that the icecream melted.
I have time.
I'm a god.
I feel cynical.
We're going to need a lot of wine.
She couldn't have left at a worse time.
I want you to stop blaming me.
When the curtain goes up, whistle like a bird.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a coat.
I want you to join me on my trip to Ireland.
This is the only thing that's made the last three months possible.
Open sesame.
Find some proof that she lied to you.
Dying is like opening a gift...
Are you pulling my leg? We're not 'lucky'!
Your eyes have turned brown.
You want me.
I can offer you a diet Coke.
When I was little, I wanted to be a fashion designer.
How much influence do you have?
Just try not to cry
A girl needs love.
I never hurt anybody.
I can't find my can opener anywhere.
I'll get ready.
I knew you could live like this.
It's not the right size.
Take the drink and go.
You're special.
I heard a howl coming from the cell.
I want you to be coarse.
You are an idiot.
I should think about this.
Eating is all I can manage now.
It wasn't my fault that your heart got broken.
I want you to love me.
I am going to Thanksgiving.
I'm trying to understand.
Leave it until morning.
Take this with water.
I am uncertain.
You are my father.
It's time to go.
Give me one good reason why I should wear shoes.
I'm going to need a shovel.
Even a worm will turn.
I feel helpless.
I guess you have read the stories about my sister?
Open the window.
This looks bad.
It's your fault that the dog died.
I want to tell you about the chapel.
I see you for who you are.
Did you enjoy yourself while I was away?
I know where you were.
You could never hate me.
When I was little, I wanted to be a principal.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a sweatshirt.
I'm the only ventriloquist on this planet
I'll keep guard.
I need to tell you about Easter.
A boy needs money.
We're going to need a lot of wood.
Sweetheart, it's beautiful.
Your ego is like a river...
Can I make sushi?
You are not my father.
This is the right time to be amused.
I will always need you.
I want you to be crass.
Be better!
All's well that ends well
I can offer you a Gatorade.
I am irreligious.
It's not working.
I have faith.
Let's get it
Are you pulling my leg? We're not ready!
We need to close it.
I want that kitten out of my room!
We've only got one chance.
This is the only thing that's made the last three minutes possible.
Your eyes have turned red.
I heard a sound coming from the laundry.
It was your fault that Dad fell down the hole.
Someone's locked the door.
I love spring in Antarctica.
When the lights go out, make a run for it.
You never take me seriously.
I guess you have heard the stories about my aunt?
I see you smiling.
We're going to need a conductor.
Please, don't touch that.
This room is unstable.
This looks familiar.
Life is like a book...
Give me the fishcake.
You can't have it.
I feel romantic.
If you don't want it, throw it away.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to go to sleep
The first thing to consider is safety.
I despise you.
Laughing is one of the great pleasures in life.
You said you didn't see your wife at all this week.
Who left a fox in the wardrobe?
No one can ever know that I like to dance
I want you to help me.
I have to tell you about the the fort.
Did you drink 8 glasses of water just now?
I'm magnificent.
I can't find my kebab anywhere.
This is the perfect time to be happy.
Find some proof that I fooled you.
I want that chipmunk out of my room!
We've only got one option.
It's not open.
It's giving me grief.
What will you do, now that you've found a job?
Are you kidding me? We're not friends!
It's your fault that the recital sucked.
Please, wait here.
I've reported it to mother.
No one can ever know the truth.
Thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream...
I'm the worst merchant who ever lived.
No one will ever know
You will always hate me.
When I was little, I wanted to be a warlock.
You're going to need a peddlar.
Take the drink and die.
We're going to need a lot of glue.
I see you have done this before.
A picture paints a thousand words.
How dare you look at me!
It was my fault that the bus was late.
When the bell rings, remain calm.
I love fall in Germany.
Give me one good reason why I should wear trousers.
Can I make noises?
Plug it in here.
I can offer you a cocktail.
What will you do, now that you've got your licence?
You're going to need a wrench.
I am passionate.
Similes
Comparison of two things, with an ellipsis. Complete the simile by explaining how the two things are alike.
5102050100500More coming soon! Make suggestions on the Improbot Facebook page.