The Improbot app for Android is now available -- Improbot on Google Play.
Random Dialogue (x 500)
Your lips have turned yellow.
Did you fart today?
Don't just stand there.
I'm a ghost.
Plug it in here.
No one can ever know that I like the Chicken Dance.
We are bitter.
We're going to need a wrench.
He was unconscious when I found him.
Take the piano and leave.
You are a hero.
How dare you smile at me!
Give me the shovel.
Can I make sense?
Someone's listening.
He couldn't have left at a worse time.
I have lost the will to live.
I'm going to need a lot of snacks.
I heard a noise coming from the wardrobe.
It's your fault that the boat floated away.
I feel timid.
You're under arrest!
A boy needs his own room.
This room is haunted.
This is the worst time to be amused.
I'm going to need a dentist.
I want you to inspire me.
Take this for luck.
You will always need me.
I've reported it to the police.
You monster!
I volunteer to go!
We're the same person.
I knew you wouldn't be able to open it.
I can't find my guitar anywhere.
I guess you have seen the stories about my sister?
I have to tell you about Thanksgiving.
It wasn't your fault that the game sucked.
You're insignificant.
If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well.
If you're hungry, we'll get started.
Sound the alarm!
I bet you know why I'm hungry.
I want you to be prejudiced.
I know who you are.
Are you kidding me? We're not 'lucky'!
Darling, it's so juicy.
Don't upset your sister, not now.
I'm the worst percussionist who ever lived.
I want you to stop blaming me.
My life is a mystery.
Let's dance
No one can ever know that you escaped.
Good luck!
This looks wrong.
This is the only thing that's made the last two months possible.
It's giving me grief.
What will you do, now that you've found your passion?
No one can ever know why I'm leaving.
If you don't want it, throw it away.
Delivery!
I can offer you a croissant.
When the lights go out, put on your clothes.
I want you to cancel my trip to Antarctica.
Get ready to die.
Don't fool around.
You lost it.
You said you didn't see your sister at all yesterday.
I have powers.
Leave it here.
We need to fight.
You are so nice to me.
When I was little, I wanted to be a shapeshifter.
Be yourself!
I should quit.
You are the most beautiful person I have ever met.
Why do you love me, so much?
I am going to the wedding.
You're going to need a hammer.
I just want a spaceship. What's wrong with that?
I'll get it.
I can offer you a good price.
You need me.
Hey, watch me with your eyes.
You are a godsend.
Put it here.
Open the door.
We've only got one life.
We're gods.
This is the worst time to be alone.
It wasn't your fault that the toast got burnt.
If you're done, we'll get started.
This room is shrinking.
It's time to go.
I'm going to need a lot of masking tape.
How dare you look down your nose at me!
I want you to read to me.
I never really lived.
You should protect your father.
Did you fart while I was away?
A boy needs a job.
What will you do, now that you've found God?
I'm the worst fortune-teller who ever lived.
I could never want you.
The first thing to consider is the cost.
No one can ever know that I was here.
I can't find my tiger anywhere.
Sorry, is all that I can say.
We're going to need a weaver.
Eating is good for the soul.
Take this with you.
Give me one good reason why I should wear gloves.
This looks great.
You're no good.
Stop, in the name of love.
You are my son.
I want you to stop lying to me.
Don't be scared. I just need you to think
Love is like a beautiful song...
Are you nuts? We're not 'fine'!
I can offer you a gin and tonic.
I have to tell you about the funeral.
You broke the vase on purpose.
I'm trying to believe you.
Darling, it's so shiny.
Can I make it work?
Who left a kitten in the bathroom?
If you don't want it, can I have it?
I have the scroll.
I heard laughter coming from the guest room.
I guess you have seen the stories about my mother?
I see you came prepared.
Patience is a virtue
You never sing anymore.
No one can ever know that you survived.
Your tongue has turned black.
Find some proof that he betrayed you.
You will always love me.
I'm a god.
You said you didn't see your husband at all this week.
It was your fault that the crops died.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a dress.
Throw it here.
It's time to go to bed.
He couldn't have arrived at a worse time.
How dare you laugh at me!
You are the oddest person I have ever met.
I know more than you realise.
Okay. Just stay calm and look straight ahead.
What will you do, now that you've found a job?
A girl needs confidence.
I never hurt anybody.
Give me the wrench.
We've only got one bullet.
Don't upset your boss, not now.
You're never going to get away with this!
Don't take 'no' for an answer.
You want it.
The first thing to consider is the consequences.
I can't find my screwdriver anywhere.
I can offer you a lifetime of happiness.
You should find your mother.
This is the only thing that's made the last three months possible.
It's your fault that the lights went out.
Get ready to dance.
This looks odd.
Someone's watching us.
I knew you could live like this.
Let's go
This is a stick up.
We are decent.
Love will find a way.
We're going to need a ventriloquist.
You're going to need a lot of luck.
Leave it outside.
I see you every day.
I'm going to need a hammer.
You angel!
Go and live with your sister, then! See if I care.
I bet you know why I'm happy.
It was your fault that the party was cancelled.
You never take me seriously.
You are my inspiration.
Don't be scared. I just need you to hold your breath
Just be yourself
I want that lemur out of my house!
When I was little, I wanted to be an ogre.
I just want a shovel. What's wrong with that?
Darling, it's alive.
Drop it here.
She was unconscious when I found her.
Be safe!
You're a ghost.
You're coming with me!
I feel ugly.
She couldn't have died at a worse time.
What will you do, now that you've won the lottery?
I want you to document my trip to America.
A girl needs her friends.
You are so good to me.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a t-shirt.
I love spring in Hong Kong.
I volunteer to eat it!
You are a liar.
You could never love me.
Okay. Just follow my lead.
Am I coming with you, or not?
I want you to be fascinated.
I want you to stop questioning me.
You said you didn't see your sister at all this week.
Open your heart.
It's time to brush your teeth.
Let's watch TV!
I'm special.
I can offer you a chance to redeem yourself.
I'm going to need a lot of friends.
I'm the best scientist who ever lived.
How dare you look at me!
We need to go.
Cooking is not as easy as it looks.
This is the only thing that's made the last two weeks bearable
Fears are like spaghetti...
It's your fault that you slipped in the driveway.
Don't ask any questions.
I see you smiling.
Hey, watch me dance.
We should pay the bill.
You are not my daughter.
I guess you have read the stories about my sister?
Sorry, I can't do this any more.
We're going to need a fork.
I knew you could fix it.
You broke it.
It's giving me an error message.
I bet you know why I'm here.
I've reported it to the press.
Why do you tease me, so much?
Please, sit down.
We've only got one of these.
I'm going to need a violinist.
When the door opens, make a run for it.
I just want a spatula. What's wrong with that?
It was your fault that the game sucked.
I want that camel out of my life!
I am going to Christmas.
No one can ever know that I am alive.
This looks bad.
No one can ever know that you killed him.
Be better!
She couldn't have arrived at a worse time.
I am vacuous.
I want you to document my trip to Australia.
Throw me the celery stick.
You should disown your mother.
You're really something!
I want you to be dignified.
Someone's locked the door.
Open the curtains.
When I was little, I wanted to be a director.
I want to tell you about the bogeyman.
Whatever happens, don't panic
Who left a bagel in the laundry?
You are my love.
Grief is like a good book...
You are not my mother.
No one can ever know what we did.
I can't find my saw anywhere.
A boy needs discipline.
Your fears are like salmon swimming upstream...
Are you kidding me? We're not 'fine'!
I'm trying to understand.
I have the need, the need for speed.
I feel annoyed.
Did you enjoy yourself yesterday?
I want you to kiss me.
Can I make a list?
Let's drink
I have faith.
Good night!
Find some proof that I lied to you.
We're going to need a knife.
I am going to Thanksgiving.
I bet you know why I'm going.
If you're sure, we'll get started.
You are the tallest person I have ever met.
You're going to need a taxi-driver.
You love me.
Am I dead, or not?
It's not easy.
I want that deer out of my life!
I love summer in Japan.
Please, stop laughing.
This is the only thing that's made the last five months possible.
When the curtain goes up, hide.
Today is the day
I could never love you.
I can offer you a kebab.
You should ask for more money.
I want you to be pretentious.
I heard a noise coming from the cell.
When I was little, I wanted to be a sheepshearer.
You made me cry on purpose.
My life is cursed.
I see you for who you are.
Sweetheart, it's so expensive.
It's your fault that we ran out of chocolate.
You are so kind to me.
I've reported it to the President.
I'll open it.
Let's play
Can I make a home?
I can't find my sandwich anywhere.
We need to stay.
Go and live with your mother, then! See if I care.
Don't wait to be asked.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a hat.
This is the perfect time to be afraid.
I have the gun.
Eating is not as easy as it looks.
This is a day to remember
Take the money and leave.
I can offer you a job.
Find some proof that he deceived you.
You should call your mother.
You're a god.
You are my everything.
It's not for sale.
I have time.
Get ready, or get out.
I'm going to need a chef.
If you're ready, we'll get started.
Give me one good reason why I should wear swimmers.
I'm trying to win.
Seek and you shall find.
I have to tell you about the goblin.
I am going to Easter.
Did you get lucky today?
I am gleeful.
You are the funniest person I have ever met.
Show no mercy
I'm magnificent.
It's giving me hope.
Let's get it
Hope is like a guitar...
When the lights go out, make a run for it.
Are you nuts? We're not together!
Leave it to the professionals.
Sorry, I have to take this.
It wasn't my fault that the boat floated away.
This looks peculiar.
This room is unstable.
I volunteer myself!
I have the knife.
I want you to be tragic.
I want you to cancel my trip to Germany.
Getting married is like turning on a radio...
Don't be afraid. I just need you to listen
Go and live with your father, then! See if I care.
I'm the worst missionary on this planet
I can't find my camel anywhere.
We need to stop.
Good morning!
Show me the fork.
I want that snake out of my car!
I'll help.
I knew you wouldn't be able to see it through.
You should protect your mother.
I see you have done this before.
Your ears have turned yellow.
When I was little, I wanted to be a sniper.
You are the most generous person I have ever met.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a jacket.
He couldn't have died at a worse time.
I love summer in India.
Dancing is not as easy as it looks.
Can I make a decision?
I can offer you an icecream.
Dammit, who left a beer in the office?
Don't upset your brother, not now.
It's your fault that the cat died.
No one can ever know how much this hurts.
The first thing to consider is safety.
Hi De Hi De Hi De Hi.
We're going to need a lot of nails.
If you don't want it, put it back.
Did you drink 8 glasses of water this morning?
When the bell rings, make a run for it.
I'm trying to help.
We're going to need a shovel.
Sweetheart, it's dead.
I'm going to need a hairdresser.
This is the right time to be afraid.
It was your fault that the money disappeared.
You found it.
This is the only thing that's made the last three years bearable
No one can ever know that I like skipping
I want you to document my trip to Canada.
Show me the wrench.
Leave it until morning.
I guess you have heard the stories about my father?
You said you didn't see your wife at all yesterday.
I know math.
I'm the worst torturer on this planet
We are mellow.
Hopes are like chocolate...
I want that chipmunk out of my car!
I knew you could survive.
I could never despise you.
Give me one good reason why I should wear pants.
No one suspects a thing
When I was little, I wanted to be a troll.
Are you kidding me? We're not together!
Don't upset your mother, not now.
Knitting is all I can manage now.
I love spring in Antarctica.
I feel frisky.
You're going to need a lot of snacks.
You could never want me.
Hey, watch me move.
No one can ever know that you can sing.
Who left a fishcake in the garage?
What will you do, now that you've eaten?
This is the perfect time to be alone.
You dropped it.
It's not right.
Sleep is like a beach...
I heard weeping coming from the laundry.
This is a fine ship
I never gave up hope.
Give me one good reason why I should wear a suit.
How much influence do you have?
It's time to make lunch.
Falling in love is like changing your underwear...
I'm alone in the universe.
This is the only thing that's made the last four weeks possible.
When I was little, I wanted to be a private detective.
I can offer you a banana.
It's giving me a headache.
It's your fault that the recital sucked.
I'm trying to forgive you.
Don't be afraid. I just need you to wait
Please, come in.
Your face has turned spotted.
I can't find my muffin anywhere.
I want you to stop tricking me.
Did you fart this morning?
You said you didn't see your husband at all today.
We need to open it.
My life means nothing.
We're ghosts.
Who left a green tea in the wine cellar?
I want you to be contemplative.
Fears are like chocolate...
I'm the only receptionist who ever lived.
Leave it alone.
You should listen to your father.
I feel nervous.
I just want an ukulele. What's wrong with that?
Getting married is like writing a memo...
Eating is all I can manage now.
I heard a sound coming from the dungeon.
Your eyes have turned pink.
Take the money and go.
You are so mean to me.
I am distressed.
I have 20-20 vision.
Stop, in the name of all things holy.
Darling, it's so expensive.
I'll wait here.
This is the perfect time to be happy.
You're going to need a lot of water.
You devil!
Give me one good reason why I should wear slacks.
Please, stop smoking.
Your face has turned orange.
You are the best person I have ever met.
You said you didn't see your nemesis at all that day.
I bet you know why I'm drinking again.
I can offer you a Dr. Pepper.
I'm no good.
When the door opens, whistle like a bird.
This looks nice.
You could never need me.
I love summer in Canada.
Who left a knife in the outhouse?
Don't upset your father, not now.
I want you to stop tickling me.
I want you to be invulnerable.
I see you are thinking.
I just want a house. What's wrong with that?
You burned it on purpose.
Give me the screwdriver.
Did you fart just now?
My life matters.
I can't find my lizard anywhere.
I'm trying to see the funny side.
We're going to need a hammer.
This is the only thing that's made the last five minutes possible.
I want that tiger out of my house!
Dancing is one of the great pleasures in life.
Similes
Comparison of two things, with an ellipsis. Complete the simile by explaining how the two things are alike.
5102050100500More coming soon! Make suggestions on the Improbot Facebook page.